LOST

I got a fax from the network asking if i wanted to cameo in lost. god damn think i am a tv actor. who the hell do they think they are talking to? i would like a guest slot on the sopranos though. anyone out there can fix me up?

God Damn Amex

Ok so I didn't pay on time, but it wasn't my damn fault - you know how much they caharged me on not paying my amex? Well alls I gonna tel you is that you don't earn enough in a year to make my minimum payment on my visa card let alone the full payment on my Amex. So it's a lot. I'm thinking of sacking my PA or docking her miniscule wages the extra interest I have been charged.

Anyway I told Amex who i was and they were like sorry mr franzipan, the computer doesn't know the difference between some goof off the discovery channel and an A list Hollywood celebrity like yourself how can we fix the situation for you? So i like said they need to get the girl that signed me up to Amex like two years ago to come round with six of her best girlfriends for a pool party and I would forget all about it. They told me she now works for Diners Club. So what is an A list celebrity to do? I told them to double her salary and hire her back and then i would not go to diners card with my millions of dollars. I'm wating for Jean Paul to call me back. I'll let you know if they bow to the pressure. I'm Toni Franzipan and I get what I want.

Laters...

Amex Black wasn't paid by my PA

Damn PA's. I was scheduled to be flying out to meet Rolloing Stone magazine today but my PA didn't pay my Amex bill. So i am stuck in LAX while she sorts this damn mess out.

Had a BIG advance from the studio to secure my services on Season II of Top Of The Pods.

It's been good. Dons is going to meet me at the interview and we'll just make sure there are no red M&Ms as we both seem to have a problem with them. Dons is in therapy and he is going to give me his therapist CDROM Experience to see if I might hire him too.

Well, my 32" Powerbook (the only one in existance) is gonna run out of battery in a while and I need to sync my blagged 500Gb Gold & Diamond studded iPod (the only one in existance too - thanks Steve.) so catch you all on the flipside.... Toni